Fourteenth...

 
Dear God.

I'm pretty early today. Surprised? By the way, I really feel like a role of toilet paper that has been used for a second time. Literally. Although I know it's just my stupidity and things happening to me are probably what I made for myself. I still can't understand why people accept me. They get cheated. They hurt. And get disappointed as well. I get disappointed. Wouldn't it be just fine if I lived my life alone? Unfortunately, I'm pretty addictive. I found being with people is so much fun. Especially being with certain people. Well, it's not the first time I tried. But I always make things go wrong... just what is wrong with me? I wanted to accept myself the way I am... but I suddenly can't. There's no way I can accept this person. There's no way I can ever say I'm cool, good or nice. But I guess I don't even have the strength to step out and give up. Somehow I just thought there was a little bit of hope... and it dissolved over the night. The end.
There's one thing that makes me sick though. The people who mention my mistakes over and over. Well, maybe I do deserve it... but somehow it's making me disappointed in myself even more. I was just thinking I can fight with anything that crosses my way. Well... I probably can't. Not when it's not about fighting with myself anymore.
To tell you the truth... maybe I'm making it much bigger than it is. But talking to you has calmed me down a little so thanks.

Your me in blue