Twenty-first...

 
Dear God.

I just made a big decision. Up until now, I really behaved like a spoiled little brat. Yes, people are unfair to me. There's about a million reasons I could dislike them for. But jeez, what right do I have to complain? I live in the exact same world as everyone else and I have to fight my way through it. I have to fight, not run away. And I was running away. There's a ton of things I was running away from. A while ago I talked to my special person. I gave him some shit I never should have and he went to bed. It helped a bunch, talking to him. Right after that, I changed my mind. But I can't keep on depending on him. It'd get hard on both of us. I hate myself when I whine. Actually, I've hated myself overall a lot recently. That doesn't really help, does it?
This was really a tough winter and I'm still in a tough situation. But tomorrow (today, actually, but let's just say after my good deep sleep) a lot of things about me are gonna be different. There's always been this ideal person I wanted to be. And there's no reason to not become one. No more running away. Fight-oh! And this time, it's gonna last.
And please... teach me to think the right things at the right moment. ;)

Hopefully, there won't be too many messages to you in the future. Don't take it to heart. And hopefully no.2, I won't die of hunger in the next few days, since it's very probable, looking at my current financial situation. Well, gotta fight it too.
Your determined me